A Brief History of Sports, March 2020

The Best Business Advice You’ll Ever Get, Nov. 2019 (with Evan Allgood)

The New Yorker
The Onion
McSweeney's Internet Tendency
The Rumpus
The Belladonna Comedy
Points in Case


Archived Magazine Advertisements Show Early Attempts at Cybernetic Enhancements, Jan. 2020

Op-Ed: If You’re Going to Call It a Belly Button, It Needs to Serve a Purpose, Nov. 2019

This All Hallows’ Eve, Send Your Motherboards Tingling by Touring the Abandoned Sites of Human “Water Parks”, Oct. 2019

It Really Never Occurred to Humans That Their Remote Controls Were Running Away…?, Oct. 2019

Introducing Yoga 2.0, Which Encourages Relaxation by Bending Your Legs Backward Until You Scream the Scream of True Enlightenment, Sept. 2019

“You’re Glowing!” And 4 Other Signs You Got A Little Too Close To The Radiated Beaches, Aug. 2019

Things Are Really Heating Up Between My Toaster and My Microwave, Aug. 2019

Quiz: Did You Get A Lobotomy?, July 2019

Prove You're Not A Robot By Failing This CAPTCHA, June 2019 

Headlines & Articles


Shirley’s Always Been Bubbly—She’s Just Bubbly in a Different Way Now, Jan. 2020

Four Things “Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2” Got Wrong About the Future—And One Thing It Got Eerily Right, Oct. 2019

Remember Go-Gurt? Cool! So, We Turned Your Little Brother into Something That Looks A Lot Like It, July 2019

Stop Obsessing Over Your Physical Appearance and Just Give Us Your Legs, July 2019

Rejoice! The Last Propaganda Globe Depicting the Fictional Country of ‘France’ Was Just Blown Up, June 2019


Our Elections Are the Finest Money Can Buy, March 2020

You’re The Funniest! Share This Hilarious Meme As A Not-So-Subtle Cry For Help, Feb. 2020

How Did Penguins Play Such a Small Part in Society?, Jan. 2020


Which of the 22 Candidates for Bunker Elder Makes You Feel the Least Hopeless?, Dec. 2019

7-Year-Old in Need of Kidney Transplant Rings Opening Bell at Black Market, Nov. 2019

How to Dress for the Job You Have And Convince Yourself It’s the One You Want, Nov. 2019

Success! We Exported Climate Change to Mars, Oct. 2019

Quiz: Do You Generate Significant Value?, Sept. 2019

I Know You Wanted More Sustenance, But We Got You These Scented Hyperloop Cars Instead, Sept. 2019

Drone Detective Goes Rogue, Overrides Programming Based on Hunch, Aug. 2019

Melodies You Can Nervously Hum When ‘The Big Countdown’ Starts,

Aug. 2019

That Awkward Moment When You Wish You Were Inundated with More Ads, July 2019

‘Extra Guac?’ This Year’s Hot New Phrase is a Fun Reminder that Humans Used to Have Food, June 2019

Little Old Lady Comedy

© 2018 by Cara Michelle Smith
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